Wendy’s, Papa John’s Pizza, Chick-fil-A, In-N-Out burger…..
And who could blame us? Fast food is tasty as all get out, to use a scientific phrase.
Some chains, it’s painful to admit, but they’re bad for us.
Not because they’re slowly clogging our arteries — we already know that. Bad for us in the metaphorical heart, not literally. Cosmically bad for us. Bad for us in that they pretend to be our friends, but in reality, they’re talking behind our backs about how we have a weird-shaped face or whatever.
They’re doing bad, shady things to the world is the point.
They are delicious. So so delicious.
But you can’t eat there. You just can’t.
#6. PAPA JOHN’S
Why it’s so delicious:
If there’s one belief it’s that chain pizza tastes about as good as an old rusty piece of sheet metal. Or maybe a used napkin, on a good day. And I’ve always believed in that.
Until I met the “The Meats.”
The Meats is a pizza. From Papa John’s. It is a pizza full of meat.
Here is the list of meats on “The Meats”:
Sacrificial lamb (pretty sure I tasted that)
So yeah. That’s it. Naples can pretty much just close up shop. There’s just no more need.
Oh, and see that little cup in the corner?
That’s Papa John’s special garlic sauce. It’s basically garlic, butter, and chemicals that bring your grandmother back to life so that you can tell her you love her one last time, giving you that sense of closure you always needed. That’s how good it is.
Papa John’s also sells something called a “Cinnapie.”
It’s a cinnamon bun.